Like Daughter, Like Mother

Turns out my mom is trying the whole online dating thing too. I was a little surprised

because she has never really shown much interest in meeting anyone. She described one man she was talking to as an older gentleman who was quite southern and quite wealthy. They went out once and she said he seemed very nice but wasn't thinking of him as anything other than a friend. She had nothing but nice things to say about him until one day when he began to let his racism show. He began bashing immigrants and spewing all sorts of other negative things about anyone who wasn't white or American. Needless to say that was their last conversation.

We've both had bad luck with our try at online dating. Maybe its just bad luck or we're doing somethin g wrong. I wanted to give up since my last experience but she said she wont and that I shouldn't either. So, I guess I will leave up my profile but I'm not activ ely pursuing the online thing anymore unless I really feel that someone possesses all the characteristics of a suitable individual with whom to spend time with.

Since I put online socializing on the back burner, I thought I would dive right in to other aspects of my journey. I was all set to go to my first meetup group activity but last minute they change d it to a single mom's event. They were in their thirties and looking for some time away from the kids. Considering that I am nowhere near thirty nor do I have any kids I decided to pass on that one. I think I'm going to just stick to meetup groups specifically for my demographic from now on.

I even got in contact with some old friends on facebook and myspace. I found one of my closest friends in high school. He opened up the lines of communication by friend requesting me but I initiated the conversation my messaging him and basically apologizing for whatever drove a rift between us at the end of high school. He said he wanted to be friends again which was great because I really want that too. I found another former acquaintance on myspace. We met at church last year and hit it off really well then he disappeared and no one heard from him since and then my mom and I left the church so we don't know if he went back after we left. Anyway, we had a really strong bond from the beginning and even though we didn't really know each other for that long, I was beginning to have serious feelings for him. I just messaged him to say hi and I hope he responds. I don't know what will come from these two new contacts but we'll see.

One of my mother's close friends, whom I've known since I was a little girl, mentioned to my mother that she always felt that I was going to end up with her son. He is about 3 or 4 years older than me and we never got along. As kids, he always would make fun of me and it continued through our early teen years and after that, w e just completely severed contact with one another. There was no animosity necessarily but we just never got along and had no need to talk to each other. He's not even really my type of guy because he's kind of short and is struggling with a slight drug problem. His mom says she just feels that I'm part of her family already and she just would think I'd be a good influence on her son. I do feel that she is family too and I love her and I think I could be a good influence but I don't know if I want to go into a friendship and a rehab counselor. However, making friends and socializing is what I'm setting out to do so maybe I shouldn't write him off just yet.

I feel like I am back to square one on my journey. Every time I try to move forward, a hindrance appears out of nowhere. I want to try harder but I am just afraid that the harder I try the more obstacles I will face. Maybe that's part of my journey. I'm not going to quit even though I want to. Hopefully, some great things will come from this all.